Published In: Guide to Metastatic Cancer: Moving forward with hope
This is just going to be a paraphrase of the article, I'm just going to focus on the focal points. I came across this article while at my radiation oncologists office. I found it interesting enough to keep with me for years, waiting to write it somewhere. Yet I never read her book. Mental note, add that to my imaginary todo list.
- Call the shots. She explains this to mean, do what you want to do. Go to New York City. Go to Hawaii. Don't put off what you really want to do.
- Do something crazy. Pretty much, do what you wouldn't normally do. Say yes.
- Find the funny in cancer. A good one. I always try to find the humor. Early in my diagnosis years I was so depressed but I would find the funny. Wear crazy wigs. Find completely inappropriate cancer shirts. It was something I had to do to make it through. I still try too. She jokes about how her breasts are fake, because her real ones tried to kill her. I totally have that on a shirt.
- Say no to drama. Self explanatory isn't it. Unfortunately I have had to cut out some in my life that only added to the stress in my life. She explains that unless a person adds to her quality of life, she cuts them out. Words to live by.
- Make an average day feel special. Don't wait for the holidays to enjoy your family and friends. She talks about how she now gets together with her family once a week and does pizza or a cookout. Things that I have do, during, and after dinner for an hour, my daughter and I have "us time". We watch our favorite shows or just talk. But unless she has a big paper, it's everyday. It's the best part of my life. Plus, I spend alot more time with my parents now. My mother and I try to go to lunch when we have doctor appointments. Not at all, because that would get expensive but it's special when we do.
- Celebrate often-and creatively. In her article she says when she turned 35 she celebrated the whole month. She had dessert every day of the month. There have been times when I have celebrated the whole month. Sometimes I hold parties in the month that I got diagnosed, a celebration of life.
- Put a time limit on sadness. She explains that if she loses a friend, or has a bad scan, she allows herself to grieve. But for one night. She chooses not to spend her energy on sadness. I can relate to this. But it took me awhile to get here. Plus plenty of medication. So if you are lucky like her and can control your emotions without medication, go you! But if you can't move out of your pit, talk to your doctor, request a psychiatrist.
- Believe. She talks about how, when diagnosed with Stage IV cancer, with a 2 year old son, she chose to believe she would see him go to kindergarten. She had it tattooed on her hand in her son's handwriting. I have done similar things. I believed I would see my daughter start middle school, I would see the whole Twilight movie series (but first read the books), I would see my daughter start high school, I now believe I will see my daughter graduate high school, get married if she chooses, watch her travel the world. Maybe even travel with her. I believe I will see the whole Divergent movie series, and The Hunger Games too. Of course after I have read all the books. I really could make a whole post about believing.
I hope you enjoyed reading about some of her ideas like I did. It always helps to read of how someone else deals. Whether you incorporate it into your life or not, maybe one day you will remember that idea and use it. Always be open to different ideas.
xo,
Shannon
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